a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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