yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
