Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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