I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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