I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
