So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
