There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
