we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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