After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just high enough for therapy.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I love you.
Bad choice
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
