Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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