he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
