Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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