think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
