I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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