I'm going to jail i love you
Buhtt sex?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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