apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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