Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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