I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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