It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
