1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
