HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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