OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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