This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
