good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize