When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
