Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
