scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
