have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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