i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
What a dumb baby whore.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize