Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
