Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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