Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
