i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
