You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
