Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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