there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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