Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize