I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
