You smell like stripper and shame
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
