member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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