Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize