she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
