I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
