If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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