Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
