If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
