he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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