my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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