That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
