hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
