Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize