just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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