the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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