Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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