well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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