You work out of a Hotel?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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