I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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