I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
In America we eat man semen.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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