How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize