1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
