I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize