Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
