I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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