Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Two words: blizzard sex
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
