Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
