I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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