Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
