what day is it and did you see me today?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
