He felt like a one man threesome
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
