Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
