and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
