They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
