This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
