Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
