I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sorry about my life...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
