Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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