but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize