Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
