It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize